As I’ve written about for the past few weeks, we have been having a lot of issues with sleep in the past few months.  It has been pretty much expected that we are woken up by a screaming toddler at least once a night, leaving everyone, especially Mommy and Daddy, pretty cranky and stressed in the daytime. 

To deal with this issue we have brainstormed every possible solution from moving beds to flat out ignoring.  We have taken the advice of friends, parents and SuperNanny.  We have begged, pleaded and bribed the twins to just GO TO SLEEP, all too often ending up in anger and frustration.

My kids sleep has always been a major priority for me because I have seen the misbehavior that often comes from being tired.  I have always been a stickler for bedtime, often to the point of being mocked by others, many times skipping fun events in favor of sticking to their schedules. 

Not having this routine has been exceptionally hard, which is perhaps why I finally broke down and read Mary Sheedy Kurcinka’s book Sleepless in America.  This book has been suggested to me many times in my various ECFE classes, but I have always resisted.  I’m not the type of parent that enjoys reading instruction style parenting books and often find the masses of followers, such as the “Ferberized,” very cult-like and inflexible.

I have always preferred to follow my own instinct rather than a specific philosophy that may or may not work with my children’s personality and would therefore cause even more frustration.

This book was different.  At no point does she tell you what to do, but rather gives suggestions for what might work better, depending on your situation. 

What I gained from this reading was the validation that I am doing what is best for my children and that many, many people have issues with sleep.  I also got the “permission” to do what my children need to help them sleep, that it isn’t bad parenting to soothe them to sleep or, conversely, to insist on certain bedtime routines.

From reading this book I have calmed down my expectations, which has in turn calmed down my children.  From relieving my own frustration I am able to present a calmer transition to bedtime for them, which has led to better naps, better bedtimes, better mornings and, most importantly, a better household environment.

I think that there is a lot of pressure on parent to do the “right” thing, even though “right” is completely subjective.  Every family has to do what’s right for them. 

For us, it’s sleep. 

Everything else is secondary to that simply because nothing is fun without it.