High school is a time that I would not want to relive for anything except for one thing: friendships.  When you are a teenager, your friends are your life.  They are the people that you share your innermost thoughts and feelings with. They help you learn from your mistakes and give advice about the confusing parts of life. There is an intimacy shared, especially between girl friends that cannot be replaced by any other relationship.

I don’t have that anymore and I miss it.

Throughout the past 6 years I have been so consumed by pregnancies, newborns, money issues, family issues and general day to day tasks that I have disconnected myself from friends of my past.  My life changed dramatically and, for the most part, theirs didn’t—a fact that created a gap that is almost impossible to close.

I have tried to cultivate new friendships with my kids friends parents, but have been unable to take it past a superficial level. This has served me well for the most part, but there are times when I had someone to lean on or cry to when things got rough. There are also times where I just want to be goofy and have the comfort of a like minded person around.

I think that the main problem lies in the fact that I simply don’t have time or energy to be a good friend. I am doing something almost every waking minute of my day, leaving little chance to gossip on the phone or go out to grab a bite.  I also don’t have the initiative to make any more decisions in my day.  I want someone to do all the work for me. Tell me when to go and what to do…don’t make me choose!

I’m hoping that as my kids get older (and less intimidating to the playgroup crowd) that I’ll be able to find a partner in crime again. 

One thing that’s gotten easier as I’ve gotten older is that more people my age are starting to have kids, making it much easier to bond with my own crowd.

I guess until I have more time and energy I’ll have to rely on my Facebook “friends” (aka people that I casually knew before and now am compelled to comment on…) and my “friends” on tv (who doesn’t get attached to bad reality TV characters? = ) )as my social outlet.